Graduation

I can't believe it's almost over.

In 2 days I will be finished with my last exam of undergrad. In 5 days I will officially be a graduate.

Don't get me wrong, it has definitely felt like 4 years. It's not like the time flew.
It's just strange thinking that it's almost over. This school, this place, these people, have become such a huge part of my life that its weird to think that I am moving on... that they will be gone, out of reach, forever.

I'm not sad that I'm losing friends. I doubt that I will lose anyone worth keeping. I managed to stay in touch with those I cherished the most in high school, and I don't think things will be much different now. However, it has finally struck me that I'm actually moving on. That my surroundings will change. That the people I rely on for support will change. That, in all actuality, life will change.

It's a strange feeling. Haunting, even.

The end of an era.
As I wrote once about, something much less life-changing, Harry Potter: it's a terrible and wonderful thing, the end of an era. To say goodbye to something that signaled such a significant part of your life; Something that has changed you for the better.

I can definitely say that undergrad was an immense change for me.

I started, not knowing a soul, desperate to break free from the high-school I hated, dating someone because of some sort of ill-conceived rebellion against my parents. As college progressed, I evolved from the silly, devil-may-care, rebel-without-a-cause teenager that had begun the process--intelligent,  but without direction-- to someone who was willing to tackle any challenge, who was willing to dedicate their whole-self, when they found direction. I broke up with the boyfriend born of rebellion, and found myself embracing my single-years, devoting myself to excellence and the pursuit of a career.

Here I am, 4 years later. In the time that's progressed, I've managed to make many friends, as well as to grow separate from them in times that called for high academic excellence. I've created a complete definition of what I consider a "good friend" to be, a far progression from the children I adopted as friends in high school. I've figured out what I hope to do; I've developed a sense of purpose; and I've learned what my definition of personal-fulfillment is. I found, last year, the person who defied my expectation of relationships: someone who I considered an equal, my best friend, who I enjoyed every moment of, and who would not impede my dreams or career. Someone I could see a future with, potentially.

It's been a wonderful time, filled with wonderful people, and even better experiences.

I've taken this for granted in the past few months. So focused on the next step: law school, where to live, how to best be prepared, etc... that I forgot to embrace the wonderful things that have shaped me to this path. So focused on the idea that I may finally be moving closer to this person who has redefined my perception of what "love" is, that I forgot how much I love my friends.

I've been foolish. And perhaps this is the last lesson undergrad has to teach me: nothing is forever, don't get so caught up in "the plan" that you forget the people who have made it worth it to begin with.

I'm not worried about losing friends. I've remained friends with those I've moved away from before. We may not talk as much, but they are still invaluable to me as people. I know that this will continue with the people I have been closest to in the last four years. What I'm worried about is that, because I am a rather cold person to begin with, I have not expressed to these people how much they mean to me. And especially because I am moving across the country this time, not merely 4 hours away, letting them know this is incredibly important.

So despite the fact that I still have an exam left, this next week will be dedicated to making the most of what is left of my time here at UF. I hope everyone who has graced my life knows how much they have changed me, how much they mean to me, and how much they will affect my future. If they don't, the next five days will be dedicated to ensuring they do.

In all kinds of weather, we all stick together...... for F-L-O-R-I-D-A.

(No. I'm not crying now. I swear)